PROUD MARYS - JENNIFER PAZ (CREATOR, BOOK-WRITER, LYRICIST)

Proud Marys is my exploration of growing up as a Filipina-American daughter and how we navigate the diaspora to claim our authentic sense of self. Who's driving our choices? Is it for our family? Is it because we want to protect another person’s well-being? Tradition? What dysfunctional family dynamics are triggered by milestone moments? How much of my Catholic upbringing confused the hell out of me? And what the f*ck is a barrel man? 

Early concept album: Back in 2014, my collaborator-husband and I independently released an album of songs about our journey as first-time parents called "Every Little Thing," under the duo name Auraganix. Looking back now, I realized that this early release served as early story ideas for Proud Marys. We have since re-tooled some of those early song releases into the developing book. 

Backstory: In the summer of 2016, I was expecting my second child. Sadly, I lost the baby. I miscarried the night before my scheduled doctor’s appointment. No heartbeat. And I bled all over her exam table.

At the time, I was just trying to juggle the whole artist, mom-work-life balance and trying desperately to keep it together. But inside, I was dying. I felt so lonely in my grief. I felt really broken. I felt like a failure.

Culturally, as a Fil-Am, and societally as a working woman of color, we don't openly have nuanced conversations about women and our physical and mental health. We just don't talk about it. We're just meant to get on with it. I started writing this show after experiencing my pregnancy loss. A lot of things came up for me in dealing with that private grief, like growing up in a strict, traditional Filipino American household, and how I processed these complicated feelings of failure and guilt. PROUD MARYS explores all of that.

I’m also a fan of ensemble comedies, and I wanted to tackle these very serious women’s health issues in a fun and accessible way.

This musical has culturally specific elements, including the statue of THE BARREL MAN and the portrait of THE VIRGIN MARY – our show's mascots, who will come to life to antagonize our characters.

After personally experiencing various health issues over the years, from miscarriage and Alopecia that eventually led to total hair loss, regrowth, and healing, the journey of women's physical and mental health is at the heart of this story. It’s about the choices we make and learning how to advocate for ourselves in a culture that typically honors suffering in silence. It's my love letter to women who've had to make difficult choices about their physical health.

From having personally experienced the pain of miscarriage and learning about and researching other women's reproductive journeys, one thing remains very clear to me - it is the woman's right to choose what she can do with her own body. PROUD MARYS represents moments in my own reproductive journey that have deeply challenged me. And I am grateful for it all.